Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Adventures In Apologetics: What Does It Mean To "Honor Your Parents"?

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you." ~Exodus 20:12

As a Christian, I understand that the Ten Commandments are a mirror meant to show our desperate sinfulness and need for a Savior, and as a teenager, I understand the the meaning of everyone of them....except this one!?

What exactly does it mean to "honor" our parents, and what do Jesus mean when He says that we must "hate our parents" to follow Him?

Well, the think the answer too all question of Scripture questions should start in Scripture itself.  What does the Word really say?
I would strongly suggest that anytime we run upon a question as too the meaning of a text, we should look into the original language of the text.  I am not a Greek or Hebrew scholar at all, but there are many internet resources that have helped me (namely: Blue Letter Bible).  There Lexicons and definitions have greatly helped my studies.
So, keeping this in mind, what does it mean to "honor" our parents?

Well, the Hebrew used in Exodus 20 is the word "kabad", which carries with it a meaning of being heavy, rich (as being full or in abundance), to be honorable or honored.

This gives us a bit of a picture of what it means, but that didn't quite do for me.  I want to look deeper.

In Matthew 15, Jesus is talking to Pharasees regarding the Law and uncleanness, Jesus quotes the commandment by saying in verses 3-6, "Jesus replied, “And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is ‘devoted to God,’ they are not to ‘honor their father or mother’ with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition." 

In this passage, along with other passages in the NT referring to honoring parents, or those in authority (such as Ephesians 6:2, 1 Timothy 5:3, 1 Peter 2:17 etc..).  The word used here is, "timaƍ" which means to "fix the value of something, honor, or revere."

This, I think, paints a perfect picture of what God intends by this commandment.

To give honor to those in authority, including our parents, whether they deserve honor not.  God, but His sovriegn Grace, blesses some for His purpose, not our convience.   (Romans 9:10-18)  We are to honor God by honoring His ways because they are higher then our ways. (Isaiah 55:8-9)

God's Word gives us a few basic principals to "honoring our parents".
1) To treat them with humble respect (Exodus 21:15, 17)
2) Looking after them in old age (1 Tim 5:4 Prov. 3:6)

I don't think God was kidding when He said we would "live long" by honoring our mother and father, it's keeps low stress and keeps our parents from "killing" us first.  (Joking, but you know we've all said it)

The other questions this raises can be rooted in the second side of the "parental authority" coin.

We first to honor God before our parents.  (Exodus 20:1-6, Matthew 10:37)

Jesus did say to "hate" our parents. (Matt. 10:37)  But, if we look at that in context, Jesus is asking us too love Him and serve Him so that our love and service for our parents look like hate.

Ultmately our love and service to our parents is a sign of our love for God, His sovereignty and His grace to give authority to whom He gives authority.

And this leads us to the last question, "What if my parents don't deserve honor?"

I can understanding, being from a single parent home I can understand how it feels to have some animosity toward a parent.

But, then we realize that we in no way deserve the love and care of God, through Christ on the Cross.  Even though we were hostile toward God (Romans 8:7), He still went to the Cross (Romans 5:8) and took on our sins, defeating death and rising again on the third day!  Though we were dead, and enemies to God, He made us alive and adopted us into this family! (Ephesians 2:1-10)

So, for the sake of the Gospel, if you have a family member who you need to reconcile with, be reconciled!  Jesus said to show mercy and forgive 7x70.  (For more on "Flexing Our Mercy Muscles", follow the link.)

Lastly, if you don't know Christ.  Just know that due to our sins we are children of wrath toward a Holy God who must punish our sin.  If we die in our sins we go to a place of torment called Hell, but Jesus can save you, redeem you, and transform your heart if you repent and Trust in Him.

Hope you found this helpful.  Any more questions, send me an email.  God Bless!

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